Do, or do not… there is no try…

Day 2 (6/6/2013) : Kind of excited for the future!

My legs are starting to hurt. 

These next few days are going to be brutal… pushing through RIDICULOUS soreness while doing these crazy workouts is going to be incredibly difficult… but I’ll get through them somehow. Hell, I HAVE to – I don’t have a choice. I checked on the calendar last night, and my final day of this will be August 7th, which is ironically the day before the first Browns game of the season. Couldn’t have had better timing on THAT one!

 I felt good last night when I got the workout out of the way. Marking the date on the calendar in blue, and the big checkmark in red, I really felt great. It’s almost like my days are now revolving around writing SOMETHING in this blog and making sure I did what I was supposed to do to really earn that checkmark on the calendar. It’s such a small thing, but because I really don’t like working out, every checkmark to me is basically one less strenuous workout I have to do. I look at it as a kind of countdown, I suppose. 

Mentally, I am in a great place. I really can’t wait to start the proper dieting next week – that’s the easy part of all of this for me. I can eat things I already ate during the week, and just have to add the fruits and vegetables to it. The weekends will be tough at first – I realized that I don’t have a weekend free of social plans until the week after the 4th of July – but they’ll also be really gratifying when I get through them. All in all, with the eating and the supplements I will be taking (I got a multi-vitamin, I ordered those JoeBee’s things I keep hearing about on the Really Big Show on WKNR, and I also ordered some metabolism enhancers – fat burners – that have worked great for me in the past where energy is concerned), I really think that I can see some pretty staggering results. 

Mostly, I am just excited to get through this and see myself at the end. It’s a difficult process, but really, the only hard part is that hour first thing in the morning when I am doing the workouts and just want to jump (well, fall – these workouts KILL my legs) out the window and end it all. Everything else is easy… sticking to a diet, not drinking on the weekends like I normally do with friends, you name it. Everything else is easy except the working out part – and that’s the shortest part of the day! So, I just have to keep focused on that. 

I was in line at Subway for lunch (got a footlong Subway Club with only lettuce – no cheese, no toppings) and I was thinking to myself “this is such a big change for me.” As I thought further, I was thinking about how people do this kind of thing every day – and it dawned on me that “this is just how it is.” It isn’t a 60-day change, it isn’t something where I’m going to do this and then go back to being a slob and put all that weight back on – getting up first thing in the morning, sticking to a strict diet, remaining active throughout the day – that’s just the way life is now. I really see what people mean when they say that you have to make a lifestyle change – you can’t just do something like this as an excuse to be lazy again later. This is something that needs to be permanent. 

Now, I am not saying that I am going to be doing Insanity or some crazy workout for the rest of my life – but. I AM saying that completing this and seeing the results and, more importantly, remembering how I looked and felt when I started will make this change stick. I’m TERRIFIED to go back to being who I was in the before pictures I took last night (which are harrowing, to say the least), and once this is done, I’ll be even more scared. I am learning to hate that guy. 

I wish those damn supplements would get here already. I want to see what effect they have on this whole thing. 

By the way… all my friends who said that I would love these workouts… they either hate me, hate themselves, or are certifiably crazy. These workouts SUCK.


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